I went to therapy when going through postpartum depression after giving birth to my son 2 years ago. It did not go well. I explained to her that my son was 3 months old, I cry all day every day and I feel as if I want to run away. I told her that I’m leaving my son’s father because he is emotionally and mentally abusive and unsupportive. The therapist wanted me to go deeper into my feelings of being abused which somehow led me to go into my past of being molested by 2 different relatives between the ages of 5 and 8 and being raped at 14 years old. I was in a domestic violence relationship by 16 years old. There was constant fighting and he attempted to kill me twice by the age of 18. I’ve been married at 22 and divorced by 27. I gave birth to 2 daughters, one when I was 16 years old and the second one at 22 years old and the oldest one I did not raise and have no relationship with.

I was 38 years old, my body was not in good health at the time and I am pregnant again and having all sorts of complications. I was miserable and my baby boy was born prematurely. Through this entire pregnancy, the father of the child was not supportive and I was heart broken because we lived together but walked around the house like strangers. He did not love me. He admitted this, yet he made me believe he did cause he DID want a child and stability and I got pregnant. When I fell into depression after giving birth the child’s father told me to just “get over it.” He would say often that I need to “snap out of it” because I have a new baby to attend to and take care of and I am NOT being a good mother by sitting here crying all day with all these problems.

During the second session, she was trying to prescribe me some anti-depressant drugs to take on a daily basis. I did not want to take the medication and she spent a considerable amount of time during the session trying to convince me otherwise. I left that session with no real solutions from her and no medication. During the 3rd and 4th counseling sessions, she spent more time listening to me elaborate on my story and to try to convince me to take medication than she did offering advice, solutions, remedies to overcome these obstacles I’m facing.

I decided after the 4th session and the 3rd attempt to simply medicate me to FORGET my problems instead of resolving them that therapy was not for me so I stopped going. She never personally came across a woman like me with a story like mines. She really didn’t know what to do with me so she just wanted to pump me with the drugs to keep me sedated and zombie like to help me forget and/or suppress my problems. I went to her for help, for healing and she only wanted to try to numb my pain.